Chapter 0381: Dr. Zhao

Yu Feihong opened the door for Zhao Fusheng and asked in surprise, “Why are you here?”

“Just passing by to see you.” Zhao Fusheng walked in carrying fruit, set it on the coffee table, and said to Yu Feihong, “I came in a hurry and didn’t have time to buy anything else. This fruit is for you.”

Yu Feihong blinked. “Where did you buy it?”

“At the entrance to your neighborhood, uh, you didn’t know?” Zhao Fusheng looked up in surprise and said, “Across the street, with the blue sign…”

“I’m not blind.” Yu Feihong rolled her eyes at Zhao Fusheng and said with a smile, “When you visit someone’s home, are you always this casual about buying things? Shouldn’t you bring some local specialties or something?”

Zhao Fusheng chuckled. “I came from Qianxi. What local specialties would I bring you? Would Jiang Wen’s embarrassing stories count?”

“Him?”

Yu Feihong was taken aback, then sneered. “Forget it. I’ve seen him kneel on the ground singing ‘My Motherland’ while drunk. What could be more embarrassing than that?”

Zhao Fusheng blinked and shrugged. “Well then, the only local specialty I can bring you is a Northeastern man.”

As he spoke, he puffed out his chest.

Yu Feihong burst out laughing and pointed to the sofa. “Have a seat. I’ll get you some water.”

Zhao Fusheng nodded and walked toward the sofa, saying, “Sister Fei, I’ll only be in Beijing for two or three days. Do you have room for me to crash and mooch off you?”

Sitting on the sofa, Zhao Fusheng looked around Yu Feihong’s apartment. It was clear she had put some thought into the decoration; the furnishings were antique and elegant. She was a popular actress with a well-off family, and this apartment in Beijing was no small expense. That she lived alone made her something of a土豪 (nouveau riche).

“Kid, you don’t stay in a hotel but come to mooch off me? Aren’t you embarrassed?” Yu Feihong’s personality was straightforward and somewhat masculine, so she spoke to Zhao Fusheng without holding back.

Zhao Fusheng nodded. “Courtesy demands reciprocity. You stayed at my place, so it’s only fair I stay at yours for a few days, right?”

“Suit yourself. Clean up the guest room yourself.”

Yu Feihong couldn’t be bothered to argue and waved him off, as if he were an annoying fly.

“Got any drinks?” Zhao Fusheng glanced at the water she had poured for him and asked with a smile.

“Yes.”

Yu Feihong sighed helplessly and looked at Zhao Fusheng. “I never noticed before how demanding you are.”

Zhao Fusheng felt quite helpless. He couldn’t exactly tell Yu Feihong that he had come because he heard she was depressed.

“Old Jiang sent you to check on me, didn’t he?” Yu Feihong was sharp. She sat on the sofa, stared at Zhao Fusheng for a moment, and then spoke.

“Huh?”

Zhao Fusheng blinked and shook his head. “How is that possible? I just went to visit him on set, and on my way back through Beijing, I figured it had been a while since I saw you, Sister Fei, so I came by.”

Yu Feihong looked at him with a half-smile. “Oh, really? Then you’ve seen me. Why are you still staying at my place?”

Zhao Fusheng was cursing inwardly, but kept a straight face and smiled. “I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

Yu Feihong’s face flushed slightly. She glanced at Zhao Fusheng and found that he hadn’t realized the ambiguity of his words and was still smiling.

“Sister Fei, have you been doing well lately?” Zhao Fusheng looked at Yu Feihong and asked tentatively.

Since Jiang Wen said Yu Feihong had depression, she would surely need someone to confide in.

“Me? I’m fine.” Yu Feihong nodded and leaned back on the sofa, but for some reason, Zhao Fusheng felt something was off about her.

“You know, sometimes living is really tiresome,” Yu Feihong suddenly said to Zhao Fusheng.

Zhao Fusheng was startled, then understood her meaning. He shook his head and said, “I don’t see it that way. At the very least, being alive is a good thing. You have friends, classmates, family. Living is always good.”

“Yeah, without family, living might be even harder,” Yu Feihong said lightly. “You know, I interviewed a few elderly women. They gave me the feeling that they see the world as very plain. For them, living is just a task; eating and sleeping are just habits.”

“Thinking of them, I feel that I’m pretty much the same. Every day I do things I don’t like, see people I don’t like, and say things I don’t mean.”

“Sometimes I even feel that I live too falsely. Everyone treats me like a star, but I just want to live freely.”

“Some people are afraid of being disliked, some might be afraid of heights, some might fear death. But for me, a big part of my life is fear of myself. I fear the truth, I fear honesty, I fear vulnerability. This fear makes me feel like I’m backed into a corner with only one way out.”

Yu Feihong’s voice was very soft, but Zhao Fusheng was sweating.

He didn’t know much about medicine, but he knew that depression often doesn’t show on the surface. Depressed people might seem normal, but if an episode hits, they could do something extreme in no time, like Leslie Cheung back then.

After hesitating for a long time, Zhao Fusheng thought it over and said to Yu Feihong, “Actually, think of it this way: when you feel down, you can still confide in friends, in me. But those elderly women? Everything they’ve been through, that indelible memory—most of them probably spend their whole lives in darkness, right?”

Yu Feihong was silent for a long time.

Zhao Fusheng decided to press on. Gritting his teeth, he continued, “So, in my opinion, the fact that you can reach out to them and learn about their past is a good thing. At the very least, you’re recording what they’ve been through so future generations know what happened. If possible, you could also push them to seek compensation from the Japanese government. What do you think?”

For Zhao Fusheng, he didn’t have the psychologist’s way of counseling patients. He simply felt that since Yu Feihong was trapped in it and couldn’t get out, it might be better to give her a goal. If she had a goal, she would keep going and not give up on herself out of grief.

Yu Feihong listened to Zhao Fusheng’s words and remained silent.

Zhao Fusheng sat there, his heart pounding. Seeing that Yu Feihong wasn’t speaking, he thought for a moment and said, “Well, since you’re tired, I’ll be going. Let’s talk another time, okay?”

With that, he stood up and prepared to leave.

But just as he reached the door, a voice came from behind, freezing Zhao Fusheng in place…